Today's our 15th wedding anniversary!! Wow. A definite accomplishment, by God's grace, in this story of us. A reason, if you ask me, to getaway alone for a weekend- IF my man were here. But I am determined NOT to complain today. I'm so thankful for each year we've had together. It has been amazing and I could have never imagined where God would take us and what He would do in these 15 short years. Probably half of our Septembers have been spent part. Last year we were together- for an FRG meeting and a McDonald's dinner. What I wouldn't do for an FRG meeting and some fast food WITH my man tonight!!!
But here's the sad and incredibly humbling truth: I confess that until my hubby reminded me it was already the morning of our special day in Iraq last night while we skyped, I was not tracking at all. I had no plan, I had not mailed a card two weeks ago so it would get there on time. Physical touch, our native language, is impossible this year, so no creating a special evening at home after the kids go to bed tonight. Quality time comes in the tune of blurry and sometimes choppy skype dates. Gifts must be sent in advance and listed on the custom forms (which spoils all surprises!). Acts of service are limited to sending the things he needs and wants in care packages.( well, and taking care of the homefront while he's away) Anyway, how embarrassing. I pride myself in loving my man well and I had forgotten that today was the day. I don't know if I will ever really live that one down.
But my man is so gracious. He loves me so well. He smiled when he saw the look on my face thru the webcam and heard my voice, or rather silence, in his headphones. My amazing soldier-man chuckled, realizing that if he ever happens to forget something special, he is free and clear! I owe him one, though he would never hold me to it.
I've beat myself up all day, in unbelief that I could overlook my own anniversary to the man of my dreams. Yet he didn't even bat an eye at the knowledge of my forgetfulness, and I came home this evening to roses sitting on my front porch step. He knows me so well that he chose a potted plant, so I can keep it alive and watch it bloom for years to come, remembering my sweet relationship with him, and the way God has redeemed our lives and marriage ( as well as the day i forgot!) And on a humorous note, my hubby did receive a package from me today… underwear. Oh man, what timing.
Johnny's response reminds me of my Savior's love for me. Nothing I do ( or don't do) can make Him love me less. My Father knew we would be apart again this year. And He knew I would long to be held in my man's strong arms. He knows I would want to do something special for this man He has given me.( and He's not surprised i forgot.) Yet His grace really is sufficient for me. His love is perfect. There is Peace, even when I'm sad. Even when my heart hurts from loneliness. Even when I screw up, again. He's still there loving me, comforting me, wooing me to Himself.
I am one blessed girl. And I am called according to His purposes, one of which is to be an army wife who can endure, dependent on Him, and the strength He provides. He will use this for good. And may He get all the glory. I'm reminded today of my imperfections, of how much I need to be rescued. And I'm grateful today that I don't have to do this on my own, even when I am alone. I am thankful for a man who truly loves me like Christ loves the church, forgiveness and all. And I anxiously await the day I will be with him again.
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